Chayei Sarah

A large portion of parshas Chayei Sarah is devoted to the events surrounding the marriage of Yitzchak and Rivka. Avraham's initial discussion with Eliezer, upon appointing him messenger to effectuate the marriage, is intriguing. Avraham commands Eliezer to swear that he will fulfill Avraham's demand and not betroth a Canaanite woman on Yitzchak's behalf. Rashi explains that Avraham was concerned that if he were to die prior to the completion of Eliezer's task, Eliezer will then conclude a marriage for Yitzchak with a Canaanite woman. Therefore, he commands Eliezer to swear to prevent that from happening. Eliezer then poses a practical question. What if the girl refuses to accompany him back to Eretz Yisrael and insists on remaining in chutz la'aretz? Should Eliezer fulfill his mission and effectuate the marriage even under these conditions? Avraham responds that he need not worry about this eventuality because Hashem will certainly assure that this will not happen and everything will work out properly.

Avraham's attitude seems self-contradictory. If Avraham is so strong of faith and confident in Hashem's assistance then why does he feel compelled to have Eliezer swear to fulfill his mission? He should have had similar faith that Hashem would make sure that Yitzchak does not marry a Canaanite woman. If he felt the need for human participation rather than a reliance on Divine assistance then why does he refrain from delivering a practical solution to Eliezer's legitimate concern?

A second question is more linguistic. Avraham's expression of his faith is expressed through the phrase hu yishlach malacho LEFANECHA - Hashem will certainly send His messenger before Eliezer, assuring that his path towards fulfilling his mission is prepared for success. However, when Eliezer recounts his discussion with Avraham to Rivka's family, he describes Avraham's faith with the expression yishlach malacho ITACH - Hashem will certainly send His messenger WITH you, rather than BEFORE you. Why is there this subtle change in the language?

The generally accepted attribute of what Eliezer is seeking in a wife for Yitzchak is the attribute of chesed - kindness. Eliezer lives in the home of Avraham, the epitome of chesed, and, therefore, seeks a match for Yitzchak with a woman who will exemplify this trait and, thereby, easily acclimate into the home of his master. However, a simple reading of the text seems to imply that Eliezer was looking for something else as well. After all, subsequent to Rivka's acts of kindness to Eliezer and his animals, the Torah states v'ha'ish mishtaeh lah - Eliezer still waited to see if his wish of the signs he designated will be fulfilled. Rivka has acted in kindness beyond the call of duty and yet Eliezer waits while this young girl continues to race to and fro refilling water containers for Eliezer and his flock. Indeed, why does the Torah emphasize the haste in which Rivka was acting - vateMAHER vatored cadah...vateMAHER vate'ar cadah...vaTARATZ od? Why does the Torah emphasize Rivka's alacrity in her acts of kindness?

This was the additional trait that Eliezer was seeking. Avraham's greatness in acts of kindness was not just in the fact that he performed these deeds but also in the attitude he had while performing them. Avraham would determine if something was the right thing to do and, once determined, would perform those acts with great energy, enthusiasm, and commitment. The same trait of haste and unwavering commitment is expressed regarding Avraham. When the angels appear at Avraham's doorstep the Torah tells us vaYARATZ likrasam... vayeMAHER Avraham...vayomer MAHARI...v'el habakar RATZ Avraham...vayeMAHER la'asos oso.

Eliezer is waiting to see how Rivka performs acts of kindness, not just if she does. Eliezer wants to see the same alacrity, enthusiasm, and commitment that he witnessed in Avraham's home. This will certainly be a trait that will enable the future wife of Yitzchak to be part of the great home of Avraham and continue to fulfill its destiny.

This kind of attitude is achieved through great faith. One needs to understand the circumstances, determine a course of action, and implement everything necessary to facilitate a desirable outcome. When one is confident in his decision then he acts with great energy, enthusiasm, and commitment, confident in the righteousness of his actions and Divine support for its fulfillment. Kindness, alacrity, enthusiasm, commitment, and mostly, unwavering faith are the traits that Eliezer seeks in a wife for Yitzchak.

Avraham displays this attitude with his interaction with Eliezer. Confident that it was time to seek a wife for Yitzchak, believing that a woman of Canaan was an improper match, Avraham does all in his power to assure that the proper match for Yitzchak is found. Commanding Eliezer to swear to fulfill his mission is what Avraham can do. Once Avraham has done all in his power, he has complete emunah and bitachon - faith in Hashem -  that all will work out perfectly. Therefore, his response to Eliezer's question is one dripping with faith, unconcerned with human mishaps, confident in Divine guidance and assistance. His expression is, therefore, hu yishlach malacho LEFANECHA. Avraham is confident that Hashem will lead the way and has already assured fulfillment. Eliezer is not on that spiritual level. He believes that Hashem will help but only walking itach - with him.

Indeed, Avraham's level of faith is mirrored by Rivka later when she insists on accompanying Eliezer back to Yitzchak. She has analyzed the circumstances, acted appropriately, and now, with little knowledge of the ultimate outcome, accompanies Eliezer, confident that Hashem will assure that this marriage will be a foundation upon which Bnei Yisrael are to be built.